Fish kanji

About three years ago, I was working as an ALT in a junior high school. I was halfway through my school lunch in the staffroom when the science teacher, who also coached the tennis team, sat down beside me.

“Sensei,” he began, for he was speaking Japanese, “You don’t eat whale in the UK, do you?”

“No we don’t.”

He pointed at an empty compartment of my tray. “How was it?”

To our left, two younger, female teachers nodded their heads in unison and pushed their trays away with uneaten meat on it. Across the table, another teacher did the same. This was unprecedented, as Japanese teachers often try to set a good example by eating all their food, even if there are no children around to see it.

I returned my tray and chopsticks to the metal trolley and checked the lunch menu pinned to the teacher’s notice board. I vaguely remembered expecting some kind of fish that day. However, I saw a handful of stray fliers promoting today’s lunch first. It had the name of the animal in kanji and a guide for pronunciation written over the top. The text, loosely translated, read, “A whale is a large animal, so you can take a big serving!” It was accompanied by a cute anime-style picture of a smiling whale.

Apparently, they were expecting dissent.

I realised my mistake immediately. Even within sushi bars where you can find all kinds of semi-obscure kanji for fish, ‘whale’ is frequently written out phonetically. If presented solely with the kanji, it’s a reasonable bet (for a non-native speaker) that it’s a type of fish as it includes another kanji which means ‘fish’.

The reaction of the teachers in the junior high was markedly different from those teaching in many of my elementary schools. These teachers were clearly enjoying it and sighing about how it took them back to their school days. I actually have a great deal of sympathy for people whose childhood food is being restricted and declared morally wrong, but it’s interesting that a deliberate attempt to instill the same sense of nostalgia in the next generation is being made.

Plum blossom

I went to view plum blossom in a light snowstorm today. While staring at the map near the park entrance, an older Japanese woman approached me.

“Do you speak Japanese?” she asked. “And which country are you from?”

Both are standard opening questions in Japan. Only a little, I told her. And I’m from Britain.

“Well, would you give me the pleasure of praying over there with me?” she continued in Japanese.

I have never been able to refuse middle-aged Japanese ladies. No one has.

We walked over to some filthy benches near a bank of vending machines. She laid down a Burberry handkerchief for me to sit on. “Burberry is from Britain!” she beamed. “Now, let’s pray. Close your eyes and keep repeating ‘Hallelujah’.”

I was born and raised in London. Whenever someone asks you to close your eyes and start praying, you expect their accomplice to appear seconds later armed with a knife.

“Close your eyes,” she insisted.

I pretended to comply and kept one eye open to watch for danger while I also listened for the sound of footsteps behind me. All I could hear were two teenagers in the background practicing baseball and traffic from the highway.

“Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah… Come on. It’s all in the tongue.”

I complied, thinking it was unfortunate that a cult had been founded in Japan that relied on the repetition of a word with multiple ‘L’ sounds.

“Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah…” I wondered when (and how) this would end.

“Repeat! Hallelujah Hallelululululululululululululu…” She entered a trance.

A white van pulled up next to an old park building across from us. A maintenance guy got out and continued about his day. Not an accomplice.

The woman started a prayer. I stopped, but she encouraged me to continue while she prayed over the chant. “Amen,” she said eventually.

“Amen.” I opened both eyes.

She told me the church she belongs to believes in full water baptism to unite the body and the soul. When pressed, she said that the church operated outside of the typical ‘Protestant’ and ‘Catholic’ denominations and if I went to the Tokyo branch, they would explain everything to me. I thanked her, took the leaflet she offered me and went to view the plum blossoms.

I consulted Wikipedia afterwards and discovered she belongs to a fairly well-known “new religious movement” (a neutral alternative to ‘cult’) founded by Murai Jun in 1941.

The plum blossoms were beautiful and gleaming with drops of melted snow. Enjoy the photographs!

 

Plum blossom Plum blossom Plum blossom
Click on the photographs to see a bigger version

 

Wasabi Kit-Kat

I went to a friend’s house for Christmas dinner this year. With our powers combined, we had a feast of mashed potatoes, turkey, stuffing, fried okra, Ferererero Rocher and wasabi Kit-Kats.

Japanese kitchens are usually small and ill-equipped to deal with the demands of a Western Christmas dinner. Our own apartment has two gas rings, a fish broiler, a microwave, a toaster oven and a rice cooker, so we usually roast potatoes in the toaster oven. Some people cook vegetables in their rice cooker. These fairly common balancing acts demand fewer roast items and more creativity for big meals. Compromises must be made.

Turkey is a tough item to get, particularly since KFC have convinced the Japanese market that everyone overseas eats their brand of fried chicken for Christmas. Congratulations to my friend on her find. Meanwhile, fried okra is a traditional dish from the American South, which shows the range of experiences with Christmas we had. Compare that to my Ferrero Rocher, which nobody really likes except to pretend they’re at the ambassador’s reception. And then we have the wasabi Kit-Kat.

Whenever I try a new Kit-Kat, I’m always surprised by how it well imitates its chosen flavour and yet how good it is. In the case of the wasabi version, only the first part is true. To me, wasabi is hot, but it also has a distinct flavour that is unmistakably savory. I had one finger of it and desperately tried to appreciate the wasabi with the sweetness of white green chocolate, but I couldn’t. It doesn’t compare favourably with chili chocolate, which adds spiciness to chocolate without adding flavour. I handed the second finger to another friend, who thought it was okay, although couldn’t see herself eating them on a regular basis.

Thanks to my friends and everyone who reads this blog. Hope you had a merry Christmas and are looking forward to a fantastic New Year.

Recently, I was ill and suffering from a fever. My boss patted me on the shoulder and remarked that I’d actually lost weight, so you know it was bad.

As I’d taken a day off work, I was pretty much forced to go to the doctor. My company told me that the nearest one was a fifteen minute walk away and, while they didn’t take appointments, they would be expecting me.

As I got to the reception, I wondered what I was supposed to say. What I wanted to say was that my boss had told them I would be coming although I realised they didn’t do appointments and I was just getting over the flu. In the end, I managed to choke out, “I-internal medicine?” They immediately recognised that I was the foreigner they were looking for and confirmed that ‘my friend’ had rung ahead.

First of all, we had to sort out insurance. They looked at my documents and tried to decide if it would cover it or not. Then they took my ID card and wrote down the number. In less than five minutes I had my consultation.

The very first time I was ill in Japan, I worked for a massive eikaiwa (private English conversation school) who gave me a list of doctors who spoke English in Central Tokyo. I didn’t live in Central Tokyo at that time and remember being dragged through Ueno Park in order to make it to the clinic before it closed for lunch.

When I got there, I had to fill out a form and show them where my country was in an atlas. Then they shoved a 15 centimetre long stick up my nose to check for flu. I remember it well. For my first visit, I appreciated that they were used to dealing with foreigners since I had no idea of the system in place. The idea that you can just walk into any clinic you want and ask them to treat you based on their speciality still seems strange to me.

Another one I went to last year was The British Clinic in Ebisu. The doctor there is a genuine English doctor and the waiting room is filled with magazines about life in the British countryside. On the positive side, this clinic is brilliant if you have a complicated problem that you want handled with a good bedside manner. They also don’t over-prescribe. On the other hand, it’s expensive and they have a very British attitude towards colds. That is, take the day off work and deal with it.

So, anyway, I was at the nearest clinic to my home and they threatened to shove the 15 centimetre long stick up my nose again. They were very nice when I refused though and took my temperature and heartbeat instead. Afterwards, I paid and crossed the road to the pharmacist who asked me about my allergies and current medication (none) and I received three days worth of pills.

And that medicine? Remember that I’d lost weight because I’d eaten so little over the course of three days? Since I took it on an almost empty stomach, it gave me incredible hallucinations that night, with shining balls of light and spaceships flying past my bed. I finally understood what the deal was with the sixties.

 

The photo was taken by SlightlyNorth, who made it available via Creative Commons.